Friday, July 31, 2009

I Hate July. Let's Make This About August.

Okay, so, where the fuck have I been lately? My blog is starting to resemble a haunted mansion, filled with cobwebs and homeless drunks. Oh, er, wait a minute. That’s what my blog was this entire time.

What have we missed?

Well, I have actually managed to make some improvements in my life the last 31 days, in spite of some rather harsh personal setbacks. Some so harsh that I don’t really want to get into them in detail. What about the good?

* I’ve managed to return to being a casual drinker. I only drank 8 days out of the month, which is huge, considering that I normally would have drank 25-31 days out the month. That’s not to say that I was a drunk every single one of those days, but it did get to the point where I would need at least one drink a day to get through. I’ve always been really good when I have my son with me, either not drinking at all or making do with one beer with dinner or something. But I do realize that I was heading down a really ugly path, drinking my crazy away. Drinking doesn’t make my depression go away. It just delays the inevitable. I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t done anything that’s harmed anyone other than myself. And even in that case, I haven’t harmed myself in any great way. If anything, I’ve just embarrassed myself a few times too many (Sorry, pretty girl from Wasco. Really. Sorry.). So, the goal is be a casual drinker again. A social drinker. I’m not quitting altogether. Just trying to be responsible or something.

* I saw Jarvis Cocker in LA! I know that doesn’t mean anything to most of you, but seeing Jarvis Cocker again was like getting a handjob and going to church, all at once. Really. It’s something I won’t soon forget.

* I’ve worked a ridiculous amount this month. So much so that people are starting to take notice. As I’ve mentioned, I was named Employee Of The Month. And, well, there’s other news soon, if you can wait.

* I filed divorce papers. It was completely exhilarating and I have no real idea why. It just felt right. I left the courthouse laughing. There are still a lot of hoops to jump through. Additional papers to be filed. Hearings to be heard. But I’m on my way to something different. Something new. We’ll see what that something is.

So, where does that leave me? The month of August looms large on the calendar. It’s going to be a long, hot, humid month. But it’s also a month wherein I want to improve myself personally. I want it to be the best month ever. I want it to me the month where I shine. The month where I matter.

And I plan on documenting as much as I can.

So, starting tomorrow, I will be posting every single day for the rest of August. I will do something every day that better my life. Or enriches my experience. Or something new. Or something exciting. And I hope that all of you, my friends, join me on this ride.

No excuses. No looking back.

1 comment:

  1. OK. It's been awhile since I have been in the blog world...but I'm here and I'm going to read all of August even though I just saw that you told August to fuck off...but I didn't read it yet because I need to go in order. Also congrats on Employee of the month that is very cool. And in the best way congrats on your divorce filing because it's the start of a new chapter any way you look at it. You have a great heart (I don't know you but I know that) and I wish you the Best!