Me, Part One?

Occasionally, I have days when I forget to drink for a couple of hours and I actually look at the calendar. The stunning realization that it is still not 2009 yet just makes me want to curl up in a ball in the backyard with a cigarette and a martini, which is exactly what I did yesterday at 1am.

2008 has been a terrible year for your truly. Between losing my job in January, my wife in April, and a good deal of my friends/self-respect/record collection in the interim, I’m just about ready to lead 2008 by the hand to a quiet shed in the wilderness and “take care of it.”

Being single and unemployed gives me a lot of time to gaze longingly at my navel. Some days, I feel like an honorary member of My Bloody Valentine or something. I just stare down and wonder just how much lint can fit in there. Not surprisingly, it’s an awful lot.

All of this free time has given me ample opportunity to take stock. I know that I can be an unintentional asshole. That mostly stems from the fact that I can be completely oblivious at times. What can I say? I am a boy. Boys are dumb. I also know that I have fabulous taste in music and can talk about ice hockey long enough to send just about anyone out of a room screaming.

I struggle with my own brain a lot. I have a tendency to talk myself out of things I know I should do. It’s part of why I try to be impulsive. If I give myself more than a few seconds to think about something, I will generally make the wrong decision and completely regret it later.

Let’s see… what else? Oh, I’ve done two things professionally that most people haven’t: 1. Written for a major daily newspaper. 2. Managed a comic book shop. I’m not sure either thing is something to be proud about, but at least it gets people to look at my resume twice. Although, both times probably elicit more than a few “WTF?’s”

Some people think I’m legitimately crazy. Others just think I’m Michael, and that it’s okay that I occasionally talk to silverware and laugh uncontrollably from time to time. I suppose most people who are legitimately crazy don’t have the sheer volume of unconditionally supportive friends I have.

Then again, I could have made all of those people up…