There are some things you should know about Bakersfield, California. I mean, yeah, there are the usual bits of information like population and stuff like that. Something like 350,000 people live in Bakersfield, which is tiny by California standards.
In a small pond like Rhode Island, we’d probably be a big fish. In California, however, we’re a guppy. Ask a person in Los Angeles about Bakersfield and they’ll laugh at you. Ask someone in the bay area about Bakersfield and they’ll look at you like a dog looks when someone’s moved his water dish.
And Bakersfield is hot. It’s not that humid hot the east coast gets and it’s not the dry heat the desert gets. It’s more of an oppressively bland heat. The kind of heat that beats people down and makes them stay in their homes their entire lives. If anyone tries to leave, they’ll melt in the sun.
But Bakersfield is good for some things. It’s as close to the beach as it’s close to the desert. It’s a few hours from NoCal and a few less hours from SoCal. In other words, you can get anywhere you really need to get in California without ever having to pick a side and stay there. I think that’s what keeps the monsters here. That and the fucking heat.
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