Admittedly, I never have much of a plan. I just sort of do what it is I’m supposed to do at any given moment and just cross my fingers that things will go well. And if they don’t go well, I just try to smile and move on.
Lately, there just doesn’t seem to be much of a chance to move on. I start to walk away and I get pulled right back to where I started. Because sometimes people just don’t want you to leave.
And I suppose that should make me feel good. Like it’s some kind of personal validation. “Maybe she does want me around. Maybe she does think I’m worth the trouble.”
It doesn’t always have that effect, though. Generally, it just confuses the fuck out of me. And that’s where I am at the moment. Confused, maybe even a little lost.
* You’re trapped by an ex. Maybe an ex. Maybe not. Who knows if you’ll be ready, or if I’ll be the one. But you like me. Maybe. I’d like to find out and not get hurt in the process.
* You’re trapped by your own depression. You don’t know how cool you are. And you plus me might be a trainwreck waiting to happen. You’ve said it yourself. It’s a terrible idea. So why does it keep coming up?
* And you? You’re just simply too pretty and have way too much going for yourself to waste your time with me. On the general scale of things, you’re lowering yourself to my level. That’s going to be bad for you in the end.