Friday, May 22, 2009


Admittedly, I never have much of a plan. I just sort of do what it is I’m supposed to do at any given moment and just cross my fingers that things will go well. And if they don’t go well, I just try to smile and move on.

Lately, there just doesn’t seem to be much of a chance to move on. I start to walk away and I get pulled right back to where I started. Because sometimes people just don’t want you to leave.

And I suppose that should make me feel good. Like it’s some kind of personal validation. “Maybe she does want me around. Maybe she does think I’m worth the trouble.”

It doesn’t always have that effect, though. Generally, it just confuses the fuck out of me. And that’s where I am at the moment. Confused, maybe even a little lost.

* You’re trapped by an ex. Maybe an ex. Maybe not. Who knows if you’ll be ready, or if I’ll be the one. But you like me. Maybe. I’d like to find out and not get hurt in the process.

* You’re trapped by your own depression. You don’t know how cool you are. And you plus me might be a trainwreck waiting to happen. You’ve said it yourself. It’s a terrible idea. So why does it keep coming up?

* And you? You’re just simply too pretty and have way too much going for yourself to waste your time with me. On the general scale of things, you’re lowering yourself to my level. That’s going to be bad for you in the end.


  1. WALK AWAY! If it's this difficult & this confusing then there is a reason!
    Hell, run away if you have to, but it isn't supposed to be this difficult.

  2. Well, Rep's right. (she is a girl so she's always going to be right ;-)) it's shouldn't be that difficult.

    you should be able to talk to this person about your feelings of where you stand especially if this person is already a friend.
    Sometimes people bring out the best in each other and the relationship will work regardless of the past either have and some times it can bring out the worse...if this person brings out the best in you then there is no trainwreck.
    Lastly being pretty or being kind does not make anyone better the TLA. If you are a cracked out coke dealer than yes she is better than you other wise you just don't know your value so if she does allow her to. ;-)...I tell you cause I care ;-)