Regret

I tend to remember everything I do when I’m drunk. Although, it’s not like my personality shifts very much when I’m drinking. I tend to be the same ridiculous dork when I’m half a bottle into the night as I am when I’m stone sober.

I only get excited when the conversation is particularly interesting to me. I only get chatty when the subject turns to something I know a lot about. If anything, I just lose some of my inhibitions. But if I do something, it means that I really wanted to do that thing in the first place. I’m just more likely to forget that I suck and go through with whatever it is that I’m doing.

And this is why I tend to have no regrets about anything I do when I’m drunk. Maybe the timing was off or maybe I wouldn’t have done it when I was sober, but I truly wanted to do it in the first place. It was already in my heart. So, why feel bad about it?

The problem is that the people I do these things with have a tendency to either not remember what they did the night before or completely regret their actions. It’s frustrating to see my friends freak out over expressing parts of their personalities, their hearts.

The last time I really got so drunk I couldn’t properly remember what I did was in Santa Barbara last year. I was drinking pretty heavily on a trip to visit my friends Kim and Ricky and I was sipping from a flask in the car ride there whilst Amberlee drove. I pretty much drank straight through the weekend.

Apparently, I had to be assisted to and from a sushi restaurant because I was pretty much out of it. And, apparently, I had an argument with a tree. This place has trees dotting the street, decorated with strings of light, and I argued with the trees about being fake-ass Christmas trees.

Mostly, they thought it was funny. Then again, it wasn’t exactly a shining moment in my drinking career. But I don’t regret it.

And I certainly don’t regret the things I’ve been doing lately. Truth be told, I really wanted to do those things. I guess I’m will tell if anyone else has regrets.