Working on developing your self-confidence can have some rather surprising side-effects. For instance, my recent work in attempting to boost my own sense of self-worth has resulted in a lack of things to blog about.
You see, I commonly fill the days in between the silly things that happen in my life with stories of past loves lost. And, frankly, those stories tend to be pretty depressing. That’s a big part of my personality. I am that sad little boy who just yearns for someone (who is not batshit crazy) to love me as much as I love them.
I’ll let you know if that ever works out for me.
But in my attempts to force the world into thinking I’m okay, I’ve been avoiding writing about those assorted incidents and chance encounters. And it’s making my blog boring. Frankly, I can’t fill an entire blog with stories about how one of my brain-injured patients destroyed my ass at Uno last night. It’s funny, but not that funny (Btw, the final score was something like 16-1 in his favor.).
I guess the key lies in figuring out a way to write about those feelings I have without making myself sound like a complete wreck. Because I really am trying to recover. I really am trying to be a better person. I’ve had more than a few people tell me lately that the only thing they dislike about me is my crippling lack of self-confidence.
So, even if I have to fake it, I’m working on it.
Even if I have to fake it.