Saturday, March 7, 2009
More Ways To Give Terrible Interviews
I suppose the details of the job I interviewed for on Thursday evening are rather superfluous. It really doesn’t matter what the store sold. It doesn’t really matter that I was applying for a retail management position. The reasons the interview was terrible are rather ubiquitous. It would have been a terrible interview no matter what kind of store I was applying at, simply because of the types of people present.
There were three guys working in the store when I got there. All young, hip-looking, and built like athletes. I’m not really any of those three things. Two of the young gentlemen were talking about a “hot bitch” they know. Gentleman A was telling Gentleman B about the time he “tapped that ass” in the alleyway behind the mall. Unsurprisingly, I introduced myself to Gentleman C.
“Hey, this guy is here for an interview,” is what Gentleman C yelled across the store to his co-horts.
“You do it, bro,” replied Gentleman A.
“So, uh, dude, like, what kind of, like, experience do you have with REDACTED?”
As he was asking me why exactly I should be working at this place, he and his coworkers were looking me up and down. I’m not exactly the sort of guy who’d be mistaken for someone who works here. I’m dressed to nicely. I’m not hip or young or sexy.
It’s ironic that I probably know more about what they’re selling than the three of them combined.
“Dude, so, um, like, why do you want to work here?”
My head is screaming. “I don’t want to work here, especially if you three are an example of what I’m going to be dealing with! No wonder you guys need a manager, bro!”
I hear snippets of conversation behind me as I‘m conversing with “Dude Bro Man.” The two gentlemen are still talking, but in more hushed tones. I only hear the occasional word here and there. I pick three out of the conversation and flush a bit with anger: “Fat. Fag. Nerd.”
The interview wraps up after something like four questions. The whole thing takes maybe 15 minutes. I exit the store quickly and start sending text messages.
I can still see why they need a manager so badly.