Open Forum Answers

Susannah asks: Can I have a cadbury cream egg?

Yes, actually.

Jennifer asks: What kind of cadbury creme egg? The original god of all candy cadbury creme egg? Or the imposter/bastard cadbury creme eggs they've come out with in past years?

Unfortunately, it’s the sad bastard kind of Cadbury Crème Egg. Ever since Hershey took over the American distribution of Cadbury products, it’s really been our only choice. Very few places stock actual imported Cadbury products. All I can figure is that Hershey is very hardcore about their distribution rights.

Gabby asks: Where exactly are you hiding this cadbury creme egg? hmm?

My pants, of course!

Desert Rat asks: AH, I know, bondon and I were talking once before about how cute your boy is and we were trying to figure out what nationality his mom is? ;-). We threw out Hawaiian or some type of hispanic/latin background...probably based on his hair? otherwise I love the carmel cadbury even if it's not O.G.

His mother is Mexican-American, third generation. I’m, obviously, first-and-a-half generation German-American. If anyone’s ever looked at my Last.fm account, it’s pretty obvious why Electric Six’s “Germans In Mexico” is one of my favorite songs. Funny thing, though. His mother has straight hair. He actually has my hair, which means that at some point I will have to introduce him to the wonders of styling products.

Bon Don asks: Divorce...why?...what happen?...are you & the ex still friends... you still love her etc. etc. if this is too personal revert to plan B what's your favorite: candy. color. time of day. movie. saying. shampoo. soda. fast food joint. ice cream. holiday. scent. memory. car. conversation topic.

My ex and I got divorced (or should I say, are getting divorced) over a myriad of issues, mostly too convoluted to get into here. Essentially, I lost my job because I‘m a bastard, she was unhappy, she couldn’t handle the financial strain, and she left me a year ago. I think that’s really the best way to condense things: she was unhappy with me. Generally, I don’t talk about her much here out of respect for her and my son. A part of me will always love her, but it’s definitely over. We get along pretty well these days. Mostly, we stick to the subject of our son, but we don’t fight or anything. If anything, we’re almost strangers to each other at this point, but with a shared history. She doesn’t really know who I am these days, and the same thing other way around.

And to answer the other questions: Cadbury Crème Eggs (for real, not just because Easter is coming up), purple, noon, Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope, “Do I fall or do I drown?”, Herbal Essences, Cherry Coke Zero, Jack-In-The-Box, mint chocolate chip, Halloween, pumpkins, hard to say… there are so many… either seeing The Flaming Lips at the Hollywood Palladium or speeding through Pasadena with an old friend, singing “This Corrosion“ by The Sisters Of Mercy at the tops of our lungs many years ago, Eagle Talon, music.

Repliderium.com asks: Who is the girl in the sad longing posts? Can I kick her ass?

Yeesh, I guess it depends on which sad longing posts you’re talking about. I seem to write one or two of those a month, at least. A few of those girls deserve to have their asses kicked, but most are still super-awesome and crush-worthy.

Suicidal Jane asks: 1) Does the fact that Julie Andrews did a topless scene bother you? 2) Why do some males think it looks good to have their underwear poofing out above the belt on their pants? 3) Is Michelle Obama the new Jackie Kennedy of the fashion world? 4) What's was your favorite movie when you were seven? 5) Does this comment make me look fat?

1) No. I’ve seen Kathy Bates naked. Nothing bothers me anymore. 2) I think it’s because they have to wear their belts so tight to keep their pants in that position. It cuts off blood flow to the brain. 3) Yes. Forever and always. 4) Labyrinth. 5) Never.

Will asks: Can I have $20 for some Penasol?

If I can't make it down sometime this summer to drop a few bottles off, the check’s in the mail. :)

I will write another post of answers somewhere down the road, provided there are any other questions asked. This was actually more fun than I expected. And certainly illuminating, I'm sure. Interesting questions, folks.

In other news, I'm still super-busy with my job training. However, expect your regularly scheduled programming to resume shortly.