Monday, March 23, 2009


* I’m very quietly frustrated these days. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I don’t really feel safe letting much of it out. It feels like anywhere I could choose to let this stuff out has one or two sets of prying eyes. Like, I can’t work out my feelings on any given subject because there’s always someone there whose feelings would be hurt. And, honestly, I don’t want to do that. I never really want to do that. I’d rather be the guy who bottles things up and lets those around him think everything’s hunky dory with our friendships/relationships/etc, even when things are obviously not. Past history has told me that this is a terrible idea and always ends badly, but past history has also told me that I never learn my lesson.

* The new job is going just fine. I’ve been getting an intense sampling of what things are like around there and I think I’m starting to grasp, ever so slightly, what I have to do to survive. I’ve been bouncing about from patient to patient, learning as much as I can. They’ve even had me work as a “floater,” which allowed me to meet a ton of different patients. Admittedly, I still feel a bit bewildered most days, but at least I don’t dread going there every day, which is something I can’t say for previous jobs. Hopefully, things continue to go swimmingly.

* I was forced to deal with a particularly awkward situation recently that put me in close proximity with someone phonier than Joan Rivers’ face. I hadn’t had to deal with this person in quite some time and it was an especially unpleasant situation. This person hates me, quite clearly and outright, but cannot under any circumstances be anything other than fake when we meet. Instead, this person prefers to rip me to shreds behind the scenes, as if people don’t talk. Honestly, I prefer the people who dislike me to just pretend I’m dead, because it’s a lot easier that way. Or, at the very least, be openly hostile. Then I’d have an excuse to be rude to them. Instead, I get peppy, perky, fake nice that’s so transparent that it’s embarrassing. Alas…


  1. I am the opposite- my friends know well that I love them but I will be honest to the point of fault & in my own ridiculous little mind I justify hurting their feelings because I am giving them the respect of being totally honest.
    For whatever crazy reason, they still love me.
    (Michael- LET IT OUT!!!)

  2. I second the comment above!

    You should also call peppy perky whomever out on their bullshit.

  3. perhaps start an anon. blog!? I've been considering it...if I do I will give out the address to my few trusted BBF's (you included duh)

  4. I'm just like repliderium; I'm honest to a fault giving friends the respect of honesty. I always say it's converstation not confrontation. ;-) except with that one being a jerk to you, I'd roll my eyes. ;-)