I Require Cake

My upcoming birthday has me thinking a lot about cake. Well, I think about cake on a daily basis anyway, but at least this is the time of the year when I’m allowed to think about cake without too many awkward glances from the peanut gallery.

My favorite basic cake is a yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting. Milk chocolate is a fine replacement, but I prefer the dark stuff. I used to go to this soul food restaurant on Union Ave. in Bakersfield called Phine’s just for their homemade yellow cake. Of course, the catfish there wasn’t exactly a deterrent.

A good cake is something to be celebrated. Unfortunately, there aren’t that many good cakes lying around (I‘m pretty sure I already ate all of the good cakes that just happened to be lying around). I’m certain that the existence of boxed cake mixes is the direct result of this.

A box of cake and a tub of frosting costs a mere $4.00-$5.00 when put together with the necessary eggs and oil. This is very, very cheap. And yet oh, so satisfying. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Michael, wouldn’t you prefer an actual homemade cake to those cheap store-bought ones?” Well, of course. I’d love a proper homemade cake. The problem is, most people don’t know how to make one.

I remember one of my birthdays from when I was in high school. My mother purchased a yellow cake with chocolate frosting from Smith’s, a rather popular local bakery. Smith’s Bakery is famous in these parts for their cookies and pastries. They do a mean champagne cake, as well. What they don’t do so well, apparently, is yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

The cake was terrible. Everyone thought so. It was swiftly replaced with a boxed cake from the cupboard. We were ashamed, but we were much happier with the cheapo cake. So, to those in the world who can actually bake a decent cake from scratch, I salute you. And I beg you, please save me a slice!